Witches, Hyacinth Bucket and Chalky Aliens
OMG I forgot to update you about the chalky Darlek!
So just before Christmas my mum tells me she’s got me something that she now thinks I won’t like, but do I want it anyway? That it’s a but chalky and sci-fi-looking but could go in my kitchen. I guessed a Darlek and said yeah, whatever, and am now the owner of a cactus-shaped plant pot that does indeed have a Doctor Who-alien vibe. Back in the box and off to a charity shop with you, sunshine. Unless I put googly eyes on you and keep you for comedy value.
In the same post I mentioned a book called Miss Marley by Vanessa Lafaye which is not getting a proper review as I couldn’t finish it. Jacob’s back-story involved a policeman coming to the door and twisting his cap in his hands as he tells them of his parents’ death. This is in about 1790. Policemen, with caps, in 1790. Yeah, no. A watchman or a constable working for a magistrate maybe, but there were no bobbies on the beat back then. There were a few other anachronisms and a lack of understanding about the class structure that meant it’s now just an attractive spine on my shelf.
A Tudor Christmas by Alison Weir and Siobhan Clarke was everything I wanted it to be. Cosy, informative, with lush greenery bursting through the pages, so much so I wanted to turn my Christmas into a luxury outdoors-indoors Christmas (Keeping up Appearances, 1993, S.4 ep.3) full of holly, ivy, dried fruit and marzipan.
And now I’m reading The King’s Witch by Tracy Borman. Set in the time of James I, and again with a Doctor Who link, as there was recently an episode where James is tripping about the countryside trying to minimise the risks posed by an woman with a bag of lavender. Frances Gorges is a young woman of noble birth who knows her way about the garden, and it might just get her killed. Borman is mostly known for her historical non-fiction, and like C. J. Sansom, this level of historical expertise makes for a smooth, spell-binding, believable read. I feel like I’m in a safe pair of hands, and the storytelling is superb. There is the tension that embodies the almost genetic, cellular fear sparked by the Gestapo, The Tower of London, Witchfinder Generals and the Spanish Inquisition. Excellent.
This post was brought to you by the skill, and downright majesty of Patricia Routledge, who will be 90 next month 🙂
Lucy
Sarah
When you think how many pairs of hands a novel goes through before it’s published, there’s no excuse for glaring anachronisms like that. The Borman sounds great though.
My taste is pretty kitsch but even I’d balk at the cactus pot 😀
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I am also pretty kitsch, I don’t have faith but I do have a colour-changing LED Virgin Mary that plays a tune, but this pot has zero redeeming features. If it’s going to be this ugly it at least needs to glow in the dark. 😉
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Oh lor’ – that cactus is alarming and I’m afraid wouldn’t stay very long in my house either… As for the 1790 policemen- I would have been throwing the book across the room at that point. Just shoddy! 😀
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Alarming is the word! And what kind of plant goes into a plant-shaped pot!? It would look like it was being eaten, or a scientific plant-splicing experiment gone awry.
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Thanks for the heads up about Miss Marley – I had been vaguely planning to read it, but won’t bother now. Perhaps you should ram it into the alien pot before it goes off to the charity shop? And I’m please to hear that you are enjoying the Boorman – I thought it was great.
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Ha! There’s an idea, the book is nicely bound so they’ll be thinking it balances out the awfulness of the pot. Little do they know!!
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Tee hee….!
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Those gifs are BRILLIANT and I am embarrassed to say I’ve never actually watched Keeping Up Appearances. Must rectify this immediately!
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You must! It’s very much a caricature, but I think most community/church/charity/family groups have their own bossy Hyacinth 😉
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Oh gosh. That plant pot is incredible. I have an addiction to houseplants but even I wouldn’t let that near my windowsill. I mean, are you meant to put another cactus inside it? Is it meant to be that meta? Or ironic? You could always paint it black for a more space alien vibe I suppose.
Excellent Hyacinth Bucket GIFs!
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I know, right!? I had that conversation with my daughter, what plants wants to live in/would look right in that thing? It would look like it as being consumed!
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The King’s Witch sounds ace. That cactus pot, though. Dear, oh dear, I’m guessing it doesn’t spark joy…… 😉
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Ha! Yeah, I’m pretty sure Marie Kondo will support me in my charity shopping of the thing 😉
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