Category Archive: Epic Poetry

Odyssey Book 3 – In which more cows are killed and the sheets are probably Egyptian cotton

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Previously on ‘Odyssey’… Book 1 Book 2 So Telemachus, Athena (now in disguise as ‘Mentor’) and their crew turn up in Pylos (where they make pylons, obviously), as it’s thought that Nestor, who… Continue reading

Lust – Bowow-chicka-wow

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The level of Lust is a health and safety nightmare. A sheet of fire has appeared along the path, which Statius, Virgil and Dante have to squeeze past, and Virgil tells Dante not… Continue reading

Odyssey Book 2 – Her Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

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So where were we…. The morning after Athene’s visit, Telemachus, son of Odysseus, calls a meeting in the town. He enters, carrying a bronze spear, with two dogs at his side and states… Continue reading

Something tells me Beowulf may not be based on a true story.

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It starts out normal enough. We hear about the royal line of ancient Danes, and how it came to be that Hrothgar built a fabulous mead hall where his men could hang out… Continue reading

Gluttony – Then just the lustful to go and we’re outta here!

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Dante, Virgil, and the tagging-along fanboy that is Statius have reached the sixth terrace of mouth Purgatory, where the gluttonous hang out. There is a very tempting smell of fruit, coming from trees… Continue reading

How badass would it be to be able to read ‘Beowulf’ in the original old English?

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I think, incredibly. Like Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris and Mads Mikkelsen all rolled into one. How difficult would it be to be able to read Beowulf? Like giving birth to a fridge freezer… Continue reading

Purgatorio – Bring an autograph book

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We join Dante and Virgil on their climb up Mount Purgatory, as they are reaching the level of avarice and prodigality, as like in hell, sinners who sin in an opposite way have… Continue reading

Purgatory – thou shalt not eat Pringles in bed whilst Netflixing

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To recap, Dante is climbing mount Purgatory, of the Wedding Cake of Contrition, as I’m calling it. He has travelled through the first two ante-Purgatory levels, the front garden and porch of Purgatory,… Continue reading

Purgatory is the new black

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I’m about halfway through Dante’s journey through Purgatory, and the following things have occurred to me. Firstly, just like in Inferno, Dante keeps meeting people he knows. Are they coming out to greet… Continue reading

I’d have sponsored Dante.

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At my job there’s always someone emailing a link to a fundraising page to all network users, or waving a paper sponsor sheet. If Dante had come in one morning and peered around… Continue reading